Lack of compatibility, trust issues, and emotional vulnerability are some of the reasons that lead to breakups. The aftermath of a romantic relationship can be different for both genders. However, for most individuals, it reveals complex behavioural patterns. In the male context, it feels that they have moved on, maybe not completely emotionally. Seeking attention from the exes is one of the common behavioural patterns often observed in men. We spoke to Mr Shivam Dixit, Mental Health Expert and co-founder of Counsel India to understand the psychology behind this behaviour.
Psychology Behind Men Seeking Attention From Their Exes
Shivam said, “At times, men can attempt to gain attention from their exes even without the will to reignite the relationship. This can be in situations where they need validation, familiarity, or emotional closure.”
“My guess is that even if a man has moved on from a breakup, there’s still a part of them that feels a void and will always want reassurance that they were valued,” added Shivam.
Why Men Seek Attention From Their Exes?
Here are some of the reasons why men seek attention from their exes:
Nostalgia
According to Shivam, it can be traceable to nostalgia, ego, or insecurity. After all, an emotional bond is difficult to shake off, and when a relationship ends, the way a man seeks comfort in what was once familiar can prove unsettling. Moreover, the human brain has the capability of romanticising events and places more than it should, and this often results in a propensity for longing.
Feeling Of Being Forgotten
Another possibility could stem from the feeling of being forgotten. If an ex-partner simply moves on without a word or care, it can feel like they’re inflating their self-worth, explained Shivam. He added that a lot of men also reach out to test their exes in order to look for unattached feelings. This can be done subconsciously in order to inflate their own self confidence.
Regret Or Guilt
In some situations, seeking attention can always stem from regret or guilt, especially if the person is attempting to relieve their own conscience.
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How To Handle The Situation?
Shivam highlighted that the best way to handle this situation is by setting clear boundaries. If you are the ex in this scenario, ask yourself what you truly want—do you still have emotional ties, or is this attention disrupting your healing process?
If engaging with them is causing confusion or emotional distress, it’s best to limit or cut contact. Understanding that their need for attention is about their own emotions, not necessarily about rekindling love, can help you detach emotionally. He recommends prioritising your own healing and doesn't feel obligated to provide validation. True closure comes from within, not from external reassurance.
For more such stories, stay tuned to HerZindagi.
Image Courtesy: Freepik
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