Fights are a natural part of any relationship. They can even be healthy if handled constructively. However, what you say during an argument can either resolve the issue or leave lasting scars. Words have power, and in the heat of the moment, saying the wrong thing can damage trust, create resentment, and push your partner away.
To help you navigate conflicts more effectively, we spoke with Dr Anjali Sharma, a relationship therapist based in Delhi with over 15 years of experience in couples counselling. Drawing from her expertise and research-backed insights, here are seven toxic and hurtful things you should never tell your partner during a fight and what to say instead.
Toxic & Hurtful Things You Should Never Tell Your Partner
‘You’re Just Like Your Parents’
Comparing your partner to their parents, especially in a negative light, is a low blow. It not only attacks their character but also brings their family into the argument, which can feel deeply personal and hurtful.
According to a 2020 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, bringing family into arguments can trigger feelings of shame and defensiveness, making resolution harder.
‘I Regret Being with You.’
This phrase is a dagger to the heart. It implies that your entire relationship is a mistake, which can shatter your partner’s sense of security and self-worth.
Dr Sharma explains, “Expressing regret about the relationship can make your partner feel unloved and unvalued. It creates a sense of instability and fear about the future.”
‘You’re Overreacting!’
Invalidating your partner’s feelings by dismissing their emotions as an overreaction is a surefire way to escalate the fight. It makes them feel unheard and disrespected.
A 2019 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that emotional invalidation during conflicts leads to increased resentment and decreased relationship satisfaction.
‘I’m Done with This Relationship!’
Threatening to end the relationship during a fight is manipulative and damaging. It creates insecurity and makes your partner question your commitment.
Dr Sharma warns, “Using breakup threats as a weapon can erode trust. Even if you don’t mean it, your partner may start preparing emotionally for the end of the relationship.”
‘You’re Always Like This!’
Using absolute terms like ‘always’ or ‘never’ exaggerates the issue and makes your partner feel attacked. It also shuts down the possibility of constructive dialogue.
Research from the Gottman Institute shows that criticism and blame during fights are among the top predictors of relationship failure.
‘You’re Crazy/Stupid/Useless!’
Name-calling is a form of verbal abuse that can leave deep emotional scars. It attacks your partner’s self-esteem and creates a hostile environment.
A 2018 study in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that verbal aggression during conflicts is strongly linked to long-term emotional distress and relationship dissatisfaction.
‘I Wish I Never Met You.’
This statement is one of the most hurtful things you can say. It negates the entire history of your relationship and can make your partner feel worthless. Dr Sharma emphasises, “This phrase can cause deep emotional pain and make your partner question the authenticity of your love and connection.”
Expert Tips for Healthier Communication During Fights
Dr Anjali Sharma shares her top tips for navigating conflicts without causing lasting damage:
- Pause Before You Speak:Take a deep breath and think about the impact of your words.
- Use ‘I’ Statements: Focus on how you feel rather than blaming your partner.
- Avoid the Past: Stick to the current issue instead of bringing up old grievances.
- Take a Time-Out: If emotions are running high, take a break and revisit the conversation later.
- Practice Empathy: Try to see the situation from your partner’s perspective.
Fights are inevitable, but how you handle them can make or break your relationship. By avoiding these seven toxic phrases and adopting healthier communication habits, you can turn conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
Don't Miss:Valentine's Day 2025: 8 Effortless Bollywood-Inspired Ways to Show You Care For Her/Him
For more such stories, stay tuned to HerZindagi.
Image Courtesy: Freepik
Take charge of your wellness journey—download the HerZindagi app for daily updates on fitness, beauty, and a healthy lifestyle!
Comments
All Comments (0)
Join the conversation