Love Maps are believed to be a prerequisite to keep the relationship going and strengthen the bond. Coined by John Money in his book 1986, the love map gives a basic understanding of the person you are in a relationship with. We spoke to Tammy Nelson, Board Certified Sexologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, and Licensed Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor to understand more about the Love Map and how it proves to be beneficial in strengthening bonds.
What Is Love Map?
The love map was a term coined by John Money, in his book in 1986. He described the love map as each of our 'internal blueprints', which determines who we will be attracted to and what type of emotional and sexual relationships we prefer. The map refers to having a deep understanding and knowledge of the partner’s likes, dislikes, desires, and dreams. We can call it having an internal GPS system of your partner that helps you understand their emotions so that you can navigate easily.
Rules Of Love Map
Tammy said, “There are no 'rules' for your love map. Your love map is primarily unconscious, it is the guiding force that drives your attractions and your interests in a potential partner.” However, without a love map it is difficult for you to know about your partner and if you don’t know them inside-out, you cannot love them.
How Love Maps Helps In Strengthening Bond
Tammy highlighted that a love map can be helpful in understanding partner selection through your lens. This gives you an idea that the person you are dating is most likely part of your blueprint for love and there are no chances of mistakes when it comes to love.
Love Map allows you to understand that you have chosen someone who fits your ideal vision of love and partnership, even if there is stress and strain in the relationship. This may explain why some marriages or partnerships that are arranged by a family, when choice by partners is not a priority, can feel like a mismatch.
Being in a relationship without a love map can sometimes negatively impact your relationship and lead to emotional dissatisfaction and conflicts.
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