Are you still friends with your ex?
There is no harm in being friends with your ex, but some people prefer to keep the past in the past. The post-breakup scene can be chaotic- for some, a little more than others. There's a constant debate- how do some exes remain friends while others act like their exes have been wiped off the face of Earth? It does not always matter how the breakup went- human psychology plays a huge role in it. We spoke to Mr Ravi Mittal, Founder and CEO of QuackQuack, Hyderabad to understand the psychology behind this behaviour.
Post-Breakup Human Psychology
Ravi Mittal said, “From what we see among our users, 2 in 7 ex-matches try to remain friends, even after things do not work out between them; trying and successfully maintaining friendships are two different things, mind you.”
He highlighted that every post-breakup story doesn't go the same way. It boils down to several factors- attachment style, breakup type, the primary reason to stay in touch, and more.
In dating apps, some ex-matches stay in touch primarily to keep a tab on each other. Then there are the rare unicorns, who have a secure attachment style and are emotionally stable enough to transition from romantic partners to platonic ones- they are capable of respecting the new dynamics and rarely visit the "what if" territory. And then some stay in touch to leave a slim crack, hoping that the friendship can one day turn back into love. It isn't the healthiest, but it isn't uncommon either.
There are exes who exhibit a more avoidant style- avoid each other till they forget there ever was love between them.
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Post Breakup Dynamics
Ravi Mittal mentioned that the post-breakup (breakup captions) dynamics between ex-couples sometimes depend on the nature of the breakup. The couples who come to a mutual decision to part ways have a better shot at staying friends after the relationship is over; there's no grudge, no one wronged anyone, and one did not dump the other. But the relationships that end up in slammed doors, blocked contacts, or name-calling do not have the same future.
There is one practical side to staying in touch- some exes remain friends to make it less awkward to hang out together since they belong to the same social circle or work in the same office.
How Ex-Couples Can Figure Out If Being In Touch Is The Right Approach For Them?
Ravi said that motive matters. Why you want to remain friends with your ex matters the most here- some do it to keep tabs, check up on each other, or not to cut them off their lives completely. After all, they were an important part of it.
He highlighted that remaining in touch for these reasons is very common. Now comes the not-so-healthy reasons- wanting to take some form of revenge, showing off that they have a better life without the ex, or hoping to get back together. It does not hurt the ex; it hurts your mental health. Motives like these would hinder the moving-on process.
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The truth is there is no right or wrong or any hard and fast rule about how to tackle the post-breakup relationship with an ex. The only thing that matters is respecting each other's boundaries and focusing on moving forward.
Image Courtesy: Freepik
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