In recent years, the concept of living together before marriage has become a widely discussed topic. Some see it as a way to test compatibility and understand their partner better, while others feel it may lead to complications. But what do experts think about it? Aarti Chawla, a Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach, explores the benefits and drawbacks of live-in relationships.
What People Think About Live-In Before Marriage
There is no shortage of opinions when it comes to the topic of live-in relationships. While some people see it as a practical step toward marriage, others feel it can lead to complications. Baani, a working woman, shared her perspective on how living together before marriage can be both a blessing and a challenge. “Living together before marriage is a rollercoaster ride. Partners develop strong emotional and physical connections, but the real test is maintaining mental peace and stability,” she explained. Baani emphasised that a live-in relationship requires mutual respect and understanding, which is crucial for the relationship’s success.
Aparna Sharma, a journalist, shared her thoughts, “You don't really know your partner until you've lived with them. Seeing them in their personal space, how they handle emotions, and how they organise their lives can tell you a lot about who they are as a person.”
Others, like Pallabi Chatterjee, a working woman, view living together before marriage as a way to avoid the pressure of marriage. “Live-in relationships often come with less pressure compared to marriage. There’s no immediate need to worry about household responsibilities or expectations that usually come with marriage,” she said.
Ashutosh Kumar, a young professional, added, “In India, divorce rates are rising because couples often fail to understand each other before marriage. Living together allows couples to bond emotionally and physically, helping them understand each other better.”
Live-In Before Marriage: Pros and Cons
Experts like Aarti Chawla highlight the potential benefits of living together before making a lifelong commitment. Chawla suggests that one major advantage of a live-in relationship is the ability to check compatibility. “Living together lets you observe your partner’s habits and routines closely. You get to see how well you function as a team,” she explains. This experience can give couples a clearer picture of what marriage may look like, allowing them to address any potential issues beforehand.
Another benefit mentioned by Chawla is that living together can strengthen emotional and physical bonding. “By sharing a space, couples deepen their intimacy and connection,” she says. Moreover, living together can have practical advantages, such as splitting rent and living expenses, and easing financial burdens.
However, Chawla also points out that living together before marriage can have downsides. One of the major risks is the potential for commitment issues. Some couples get stuck in a “trial phase,” with no clear intention to move forward toward marriage. “This lack of commitment can lead to uncertainty and, in some cases, heartache,” Chawla explains.
Cultural and familial pressures also play a significant role in how live-in relationships are viewed. In many societies, live-in relationships are still frowned upon, leading to tensions within families. “The judgement faced by couples in live-in relationships can create emotional stress and conflict,” says Chawla.
Additionally, living together too soon may blur personal boundaries. “When you move in with someone too early, it can interfere with your sense of individuality and independence,” Chawla warns.
The decision to live together before marriage is deeply personal and depends on the dynamics of each relationship. While some see it as a way to ensure compatibility, others may face challenges along the way.
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