Ekavali Khanna's Definition Of Motherhood Is A Single Mom Playing Many Roles

We often put a mother on a pedestal. She is an epitome of a superhuman whose sacrifices are glorified in real life, advertisements, serials, films, and art. We are conditioned to think that a good mother would give up everything for the sake of her child.

Do we ever pause for a second and consider that she is also a human? Do we ever acknowledge that she has an identity, likes, dislikes, wishes, and aspirations? For aeons, we have taught girls to grow up to be good wives and mothers. We have taught little brains that they must sacrifice for the sake of the family and cut their stomach to feed their kids.

However, actor Ekavali Khanna has fought these stereotypical norms to emerge as an inspiration for modern women. HerZindagi brings to you her story as a part of the Good Mother Project, which has been highlighting strong women who have been vocal about breaking the patriarchal norms set by society.

The extraordinary actor has worked in English, Hindi and Bengali films. You would remember from ‘Memories in March’, ‘Khola Hawa’, ‘Dear Dad’, ‘Veere Di Wedding’, and ‘The Prologue’ among many others.

Khanna embraced motherhood when she was only 24 years old. She was a single mother who did an exceptional job in looking after her both sons. The 43-year-old actor spends time with her kids with the same enthusiasm as when they were toddlers.

Surviving domestic violence in her marriage, Khanna decided to get divorced. She started her acting career while juggling the responsibilities of her kids. She did not pay heed to what people would say and brought up her children on her terms.

A mother is expected to devote all her time, focus, and energy to her kids. Doing so, she is often left with no ‘me time’, which is how her identity starts diluting. However, Khanna believes that it is crucial for mothers to not forget themselves under the burden of responsibilities. Though it is not easy, the actor tries to manage time between work and home. Amid this all, she also takes out time for herself.

She said, “I try to spend time with my kids and live to the fullest. I accompany them on trips and adventures. Whatever I save, I try my best to give them a new experience. I have tried things with them that I never thought I would. I think I have done the best to my capability for them.”

Effect Of Divorce On Kids

It is scientific that separation between parents affects the kids. Talking about her divorce, she added, “Children start experiencing this feeling that they were wrong amid all. They feel that something has been taken away from them.”

She has tried her best to soften her kids and limit the effect of divorce on them. No matter what the world says, Khanna believes she is a good mother, and we are cheering for her.

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Pressure On Mother

In society, mothers experience immense pressure to handle everything to perfection. From home to the tiniest detail about the life of their kids, she must know everything. Ekavali Khanna said that the moment a baby is born, people surround the mother with an unlimited supply of suggestions about the colour, diet, upbringing, parenting techniques, and whatnot.

However, she believes that every mother knows what is best for her child. The world should just leave her alone. She can take care of the baby food, weight of the child, and numerous other responsibilities that come with parenthood. If someone cannot extend support, they should restrict imparting advice on motherhood.

People should treat new mothers with extra care rather than burdening them with numerous expectations. If a mother does not do well according to you does not mean she is a bad mother. She is doing her best. She might have a different parenting style, but that is her choice, and everyone around her must respect it. Any person can be successful if they are responsible, focused, and honest.

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Mom’s Guilt

Speaking about mom’s guilt, Khanna said it is quite common, and almost every mother experiences it. A mother wants to do the best for her child, offer the best education, see her kid succeeding in life, and be present when they need her.

However, sometimes circumstances may be not in her favour, which is why she can experience the mom’s guilt. “However, a mother can navigate this guilt and move on,” added Khanna.

She said she did the same when she experienced the mom’s guilt. She also suggested that women learn with time to tackle it and motherhood is the best teacher. However, you must understand that you cannot do much about it.

Every mother is a good mother and has a different parenting style. People should mind their business and not make it difficult for the woman who is trying the hardest to provide the best to her children. Stay tuned to HerZindagi for more such inspiring stories.

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