Being A Brown Daughter: How I Grew Up Thinking That Women Are The Weaker Gender

"Let him get the stools from the balcony, you come here and help me with cooking, guests are on their way," I remember my mother telling me this once when we hosted a get-together at our place. There was always a gendered division when it came to household work and it felt pretty normal to me for years. I have a younger sibling and as far as I can recall, we were always treated differently.

I oddly realised it only a few years earlier when I asked my brother to get me the grocery carton from my car and he mocked me saying "You can pick up those heavy dumbells at the gym but can't get this small box, why do you even workout?". The tease hit deep. It wasn't like I felt weak physically, it was a deeply ingrained idea in my head that men were stronger and were more capable to take up tasks involving physical labour.

Beyond Physical Strength

Men in the house were used to it. Every time there came a chore that demanded hard work, they would get going, growing up, they too were schooled to be that way, the stronger sex of the house. The roles were clearly based on gender and expectations were high. On the other hand, the women of my house were expected to be caring and gentle. To be honest, the notion didn't feel damaging for the longest time. It was only years later that I began to realise how the stereotype limited my scope of growth. I didn't volunteer for most things thinking it wasn't what my family expected out of me.

From clothing to eating to speaking, little things were categorised. "Don't get your hair cut short, you will look like a boy", "go for pink, blue is for boys", "it isn't good being so loud, you aren't a boy," all collectively shaped my former years and influenced my behaviour heavily.

I am sure, it wasn't just me. Most girls in India grow up thinking they are the weaker sex. Interestingly, as young girls transition into a woman later in life, they are hailed for being strong enough to push out babies during childbirth. The duplicity of the world always leaves me amazed.

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Emotional Not Weak

'Drama queen', 'cry baby', 'emotional fool', tell me you haven't heard of these titles every time you get hysterical. You exaggerate a bit and they will tag you as emotional, weak, and whatnot. On the other hand, if a man gets emotional, he is asked to stop behaving like a girl. Vulnerability is linked to femininity. Sadly, it isn't and again, the gender divide limits us all from being ourselves. (India on inequality index)

While multiple scientific studies suggest that women are stronger than men both physically and emotionally, majority of us are still stuck with the stereotyped idea of gender roles.

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Today, years later after experiencing both sides, I feel we need to strip off all the gender norms at the root itself, our minds, and our homes, to offer a progressive and happy world to one and all. What are your thoughts? Share with us on our social media handles. Look forward to hearing from you!