From Wisdom To Action: How Experts Recommend Incorporating Self-Love Into Daily Life

Self-love is the need of the hour. You can pull out a raw statistic on stress, anxiety, depression, suicides, nervous breakdowns, mid-life crises etc. and you will know it. The concept of self-love is totally mistaken and thus we connected to Ms. Richa Sahay, Reiki Master, Spiritual Mentor and Life Coach for her expert input on the concept. She has shared a few tips that will help you in incorporating self love into your life. 

Flawed Concept Of Self-Love

Richa states “We are approaching the very concept from a flawed centre.” This might be shocking to you; please read through it completely, if you want to understand it well. Our current concept of ‘self-love’ is based on- doing what you like, spending time with your friends, and relatives pursuing what you enjoy etc. and this exactly is the problem.

Notice closely- ‘what I like’ as I know, is primarily based on a flawed sense of Identity. Spend time with your loved ones’ assumes that others also have time and intention to share their time with us and also that we are quite good with our understanding of emotions and relationships.  

The fact is we are constantly grinning and sulking, and for us relationships are just means - we hardly get to the depth of it. The sad truth is people get bored and overwhelmed, want instant results, have decreasing patience and tolerance and coupled with low attention span they tend to deviate much sooner than desired.

These are just a few reasons that bring me to talk of ‘self-love’ in a totally new light with a totally new approach. Frankly, this new approach actually is the oldest one - approach based on the timeless principles of Vedanta.

Redefining Self Love

Both the words ‘self’ and ‘love’ need to be understood before even talking of ‘self-love’. Ready to face facts!? So here it goes. Notice that in our everyday parlance, while referring to self, we actually refer to certain identities of ours. The moment you start to discover, you will find that ‘real self’ is ‘love’ itself. Vedanta tells us that ‘love’ is our real nature. Actually, love is not an adjective or an emotion as widely understood, rather, it is a verb. Which means we are ‘love in action’. 

This implies that we connect with everyone and everything in the cosmos from the centre of love, the centre of giving, standing for our highest values; and not from the centre of biases, prejudices and judgements, preferences and favouritism.

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How To Incorporate Love In Your Life?

In a world where we look at everything from the perspective of benefits and gains, how can this even happen? Let’s explore how to practically achieve this. 

• In the morning, sit for 2-5 minutes, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and affirm and I love and accept myself; I am growing every day. 
• Shift your mind to this affirmation (benefits of meditation) when caught in self-criticism or judgement.
• Be conscious of your identity in every statement, reminding yourself it's a role-play, not the real you.
• Practice silence; don’t immediately turn to social media when alone. Your mind will rebel at the beginning, but train it. Close your eyes and just observe your thoughts without any opinion or judgement. Begin with 2 minutes maybe, and increase the duration slowly and steadily.

Take these small moves (personal care habits) and then trust me, you will never need to be taught ‘self-love.’

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