Are You In An Abusive Relationship?

He keeps professing his love for you, but abuses you a lot, hurls foul language or keeps demeaning and criticizing you, gets physical with you or forces himself on you, controls you financially. If most of the above is correct in your relationship, then red alert – YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! 

This is not part of love or loving behaviour. It’s common for abusers to combine love with abuses. Often, physical abuse does not arise in the beginning of a relationship, but there are other tell-tales and an unhealthy behaviourial pattern. Here is a list of few indicators:

Recognise Characteristics Of An Abuser

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Everyone is different, but physically abusive partners tend to have certain characteristics that contribute to the cycle of violence and control. An abuser might be emotionally intense and codependent, he could be charming, popular, talented, fluctuates between emotional extremes, might be a former victim of abuse or might have a history of abuse and violence in childhood.

Track Physical Attacks By Your Partner Till Date

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They might be happening once in a while, or frequently. They can also vary in severity. They can also be a one-time incident. These attacks may occur in a pattern, make you fear for your safety or the safety of the people, things, or even pets you love. When this is the case, physical abuse can permeate and affect every aspect of your life.

Count How Many Times You’ve Had A “Honeymoon” Period 

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An abuser may appear to be the ideal partner to draw you in initially. He apologises and treats you well, buying gifts and being friendly. Then his behaviour shifts and he starts abusing again. This slowly conditions you to accept his behaviour.

Recognize What Emotional Abuse Is

It usually contains verbal abuse, where the abuser lowers your self-esteem by calling you names, picks on every single thing you do, doesn’t show any trust, acts like you are his possession, threatens you, and uses your weaknesses against you or threatens to hurt them. An emotional abuser may try to make you feel certain ways, with the intention of controlling you. This manipulation could be humiliating or embarrassing. You may feel guilty for no fault of your own.

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Determine If You Feel Socially Isolated

Social isolation is a form of emotional abuse that an abuser may use to control how you feel and what you do. It includes preventing you from spending time with friends or family, acting jealous and suspicious of your friends, restricting your use of the car or phone, making you stay at home, demanding to know where you’re at all the time or preventing you from working or going out.

Financial Or Economic Abuse Involves Controlling You Through Money

Your alarms should ring if he is not allowing you to have your own money, whether or not you earned it. He might take your credit cards, move into your home and not contribute to paying any of the bills.