The Psychology of Jealousy: Causes, Triggers, And How to Control Emotions

Jealousy. It’s not the most flattering emotion to admit, but it’s something most of us feel at some point, whether it's watching a colleague get praised, a friend land a big opportunity, or a partner give attention to someone else. It's uncomfortable, sometimes irrational, but very human.

According to Dr Priya Sethi, a Mumbai-based clinical psychologist and relationship therapist, “Jealousy often comes from a place of insecurity or fear, fear of being replaced, forgotten, or left behind.” But with the right mindset and awareness, it’s possible to understand your jealousy instead of letting it control you.

Here’s a breakdown of where jealousy comes from, what typically triggers it, and how to deal with it in a healthy, mindful way.

What Causes Jealousy?

At its core, jealousy is rooted in comparison and fear of loss. Dr Sethi explains that early childhood experiences, past betrayals, or low self-esteem can all contribute to how easily someone feels jealous. “When you believe you’re not good enough, anything that threatens your connection to someone, or your own sense of self-worth, can make jealousy rise fast,” she says.

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What Triggers Jealousy

• Romantic insecurity: Fear that your partner may find someone else more attractive or interesting.
• Social media: Constant comparisons to curated lives can lead to envy and dissatisfaction.
• Workplace rivalry: Watching someone else get promoted or praised can sting, especially if you’re feeling overlooked.
• Friendship dynamics: Feeling left out when friends become closer to others.

How to Manage and Control Jealousy

• Pause before reacting: Recognise the feeling without acting on it. Take a breath and observe what’s really bothering you.
• Focus on self-worth: Build confidence through self-care, hobbies, or therapy if needed.
• Communicate openly: If jealousy is affecting your relationship, talk to the other person calmly instead of blaming them.
• Limit comparisons: Reduce time spent on social media and focus on your own growth.
• Practice gratitude: Remind yourself regularly of what you have, not what you lack.

Jealousy doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human. But unchecked, it can harm your peace of mind and relationships. Understanding where it stems from and dealing with it mindfully can help you turn a difficult emotion into an opportunity for self-growth.

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