Over Half of Married Indians Cheat: Why Many Are Questioning Monogamy

A study conducted in 2024 revealed that nearly 50% of the respondents aged 25-35 years, belonging to tier one and tier two cities, believe monogamy is slowly being rendered irrelevant.

The rise of infidelity in modern Indian marriages is no longer a hushed exception—it’s becoming a telling reflection of deeper shifts in relationships, gender roles, and personal expectations.

According to Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager, India, Gleeden, there has been a clear shift in how relationships are being viewed at present.

"Marriages were once perceived as the ultimate form of commitment, but today, other forms of partnerships—including open marriages and polyamory—are gaining roots, especially among urban Indians,” she said.

Read: From Rent-a-Boyfriend to Kink Events: How India is Embracing Alternative Intimacy

Gleeden is an extramarital dating app, which has over 5 million downloads and over 3 million active users in India. The 2024 survey by them also noted that 48% of Indians believed that it is possible to be in love with two different people at the same time, while 46% thought that one can cheat on a partner while still being in love with them.

Once defined as an institution marked by devotion, sacrifice, and compromise, and its success defined by its ability to endure, marriages today are being defined by a whole other set of choices and values. HerZindagi explores the evolving nature of marriage in India to try and uncover why people are cheating or embracing non-monogamy in their lives.

What Constitutes Cheating in a Marriage

Broadly, being physically intimate with someone else is typically categorised as cheating. Before dissecting why married Indians are cheating, we explore whether this definition is shifting.

Aili Seghetti, founder of The Intimacy Curator, explained that cheating is a deeply subjective and personal topic, where it is defined differently depending on the couple.

“Some consider it cheating if their partner has had a close emotional exchange with someone online. Some categorise flirting as cheating. For some, even looking at social media pages of attractive people is cheating. For some others, watching porn is cheating,” she said.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, a Bollywood movie best-known for having shown extra-marital relationships.

She even cites something she’s observed, where a lot of women are okay if the man goes to a sex worker, and they don’t consider that cheating. “But if they have an affair then like or if they have sex with someone that they've not paid is cheating,” she said.

She concludes that it really varies among a big spectrum of options.

Why Are More Married Indians Exploring Non-Monogamy?

The traditional framework of marriage is being redefined as more people start to prioritise their individual well-being over societal expectations.

Aili Seghetti, founder of The Intimacy Curator, highlights changing contexts as one of the major reasons. “Primarily what women want, what they expect from a relationship has changed. A generation before, a mother or a wife would not really voice out her frustrations, like maybe the lack of emotional support from her male partner. But now, most women have more expectations from their partners.”

According to Gleeden's survey, 82% of female users are engaging implicitly or explicitly in affairs, driven by their marriages, making them feel emotionally unfulfilled, while 74% feel invisible or unheard in their primary relationship.

As a relationship coach, Aili has had a front-row seat to witnessing the shift. She highlights how sexual satisfaction wasn’t something women wanted because there was no understanding of women’s pleasure. “Now, women want to be sexually satisfied too, and in a lot of areas like these, men have failed to catch up with these expectations,” she added.

Another big driving factor behind this shift is social media and the awareness of different kinds of relationships that it brings.

“Social media has made topics like ethical non-monogamy (ENM), open marriage and polyamory, once a taboo in India, mainstream. Dedicated online communities are giving people a space to share their experiences and seek advice, and these alternative relationship structures are becoming more visible and acceptable,” explained Sybil.

Social media also leads to increasing comparisons and a sense of “I can have better”, highlighted Aili. With more and more options being available and social media-driven comparisons, people tend to look for others.

Changing financial dynamics also play a role. With more women entering the workforce and taking on key roles, they have to make decisions for themselves. Marriage was once perceived to be essential for financial security, but that’s changing.

“Now that more women are becoming financially independent, they are choosing relationships based on emotional and personal fit, rather than societal pressure. Gleeden’s survey has found that 62% of urban Indian women now prioritize emotional connection over financial security in marriage compared to 38% a decade ago,” said Sybil.

Read: I Attended A Sensorial Dating Event. It Was Weird, Wonderful and Oddly Eye-Opening.

People are realizing that one partner may not fulfill all their emotional, intellectual, and physical needs. 46% of married women report feeling "emotionally unfulfilled," compared to 29% in 2022.

She also added that the COVID-19 pandemic also fueled these changes, with couples having to examine their relationship dynamics in ways they hadn’t been able to before. “Lockdowns heightened both intimacy and conflict, and many found themselves reevaluating what they needed and wanted from their marriages,” she said.

Differing Desires Of Men and Women When They Cheat

Extramarital affairs play out quite differently for men and women, with clear differences in their motivations and preferences, as highlighted by data from Gleeden.

According to Sybil Shiddell, women are typically more discerning in their choices, often seeking an emotional connection before any physical involvement. “Women tend to be chicer and usually prefer some form of virtual before any physically,” she notes.

In contrast, men are generally more open to casual, one-off encounters.

Age preferences also reflect distinct dynamics: Indian women usually gravitate toward older partners—most commonly men aged 30 to 40—while men tend to favor younger women, typically in the 25 to 30 age range. These patterns suggest that gendered expectations and desires shape not only how affairs begin but also what participants seek from them.

Why Couples Continue Being Married

Surprisingly, infidelity doesn’t always end relationships. In India, many couples stay on—out of societal pressure, financial constraints, the legal hassle of a divorce, or the fear of stigma.

But that doesn’t mean they heal.

“Very few couples seek therapy. So they stay, but the resentment festers,” Seghetti warns. Without repair, the relationship becomes a breeding ground for suspicion and distance.

Forgiveness, if it comes at all, is a long process. “Real repair can take one to two years of active work,” she says. Without the required repair, the resentment sometimes stays on for as long as 10 years. “Without it being resolved, cheating often happens again.”

Seghetti says many clients continue to believe in the idea of marriage—even monogamous marriage—as a life milestone. They also happen to be unhappy within it.

What Can Couples Looking To Get Married Take Note Of?

Aili says that people largely still root for marriage and desire monogamy. It's too ingrained in Indian society to want a long-term, monogamous marriage.

Seghetti’s advice to engaged or newlywed couples? Start counseling early. “Before you move in, marry, or have kids, work on your communication skills. Discuss values, expectations, life goals, and how you’ll handle conflict.”

She also suggests creating systems for regular check-ins, building the ability to have difficult conversations, and most importantly, cultivating emotional awareness. “None of this is taught in schools. You have to learn it yourself—and together.”

And a final, urgent note: “If you think you’re in a monogamous relationship, don’t assume. Always get STI tested. People having affairs often don’t use protection, and you might not even know it’s happening.”