Being A Brown Daughter: It Isn't A Safe World, Why My Family Never Permitted Me To Travel Solo

Among the many challenges India poses for women is safety. Though it isn't a good idea to generalise the issue and call the entire nation unsafe for women, unfortunately, safety concerns still exist in most parts of India.

I grew up in a family where my only exposure to travel was the time we used to go to Mussoorie with the entire family during summer vacations. It was a yearly ritual and we didn't ever really miss. We use to stroll the mall road, shop at the Tibetan market, play at game zones, and take the cable car to the viewpoint. All year long we craved that one holiday.

As I grew up, I would hear my classmates sharing their fascinating travel stories. I would often tell my father about them and ask if we could ever go to places other than Mussoorie or if he had any plans to take us abroad for a trip. He would tell me how a trip abroad won't meet our budget.

When I was in class 7th, my school organised a one-day trip to Jaipur. It included our stay at the resort, sight-seeing, and meals. For days I kept convincing my family to send me for the school trip. While my mates had already signed up for it and were prepping for the trip, I was still awaiting a go-ahead from my family.

It Isn't A Safe World

I was stubborn to go for this trip. I sobbed for days, and skipped meals, just to persuade my family andit finally happened. I remember being called to the living room by my father. I walked in and saw my entire family grinning at me. As my grandma handed me over the trip fee, I was told, "This is only because you are so eager to go on this trip. Remember, this is the first and last school trip you go for. You should not come back again with such requests, they won't be permitted."

I was taken aback. ‘Why’, I asked. "You are a child, beta, you aren't aware of what's happening outside. It isn't a safe world for girls. Girls are harassed, kidnapped, and murdered every single day outside, we want you to be safe. It is better if you stay at home. We will try to take you wherever you wish to travel," said my grandma. I recall arguing for hours about how my friends' parents too allowed them to go for picnics and school trips. "I don't know about them but I have to ensure your safety till you grow up and understand the plight of women in this country," yelled my father.

The next day, I submitted my fee and began prepping for the trip. My dad got me a bag full of nibbles. I made the most of the school trip knowing that I won't ever get the chance to travel with my friends again.

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That was my first and last trip with my school buddies. I instantly showed disinterest if a school trip was announced after that. During my college years too, when my friends used to share their solo travel tales with me, I would just be in awe, wondering if I ever will make it, and get to explore the world solo. Once, when I sensed my father was in a good mood, I somehow gathered the courage to ask him if he was okay if I went for a solo trip. I quickly added that I would keep it short and be back in two days. He said, “I am okay with you travelling alone, exploring the world, I trust you, I know you will manage but I just can’t allow you to be out there on your own. This world isn’t a safe place to be, at least for women. Go pick the newspaper, crimes against women don’t seem to stop. Do you expect me to send my daughter alone in such a situation?” That was it. I never went back to him, making such requests.

But Then, Where Is Safety?

Recently, when I was going through one of my photo albums, I came across that one photo I clicked at the Jaipur resort I stayed at years back. That one picture brought back all those beautiful memories and also the time I somehow managed to convince my family. My father and grandmother are no more but I wonder how they would have reacted to women's safety concerns today. Unfortunately, in terms of the overall safety of women in the nation, things have only worsened.

The rising number of rape, murder, molestation, and trafficking cases across the nation serve as enough proof of it. Even though I travel across India and abroad today, the safety fear prevails. I don’t plan my travel without verifying the crime rate of the city, being outside post 8 pm still leaves me anxious. I dread being out, even in my city, I don’t feel safe at all.

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I usually don't wear what I want in fear of eve-teasing, I always carry pepper spray as a protective measure, if I am out at night, I always feel I am being followed and I run to get back home safely. I get it now, they were right. The world is a dangerous place for women and sadly there doesn’t seem even a tiny glimmer of hope.

What are your thoughts on women’s safety and security in India? Do you feel safe travelling around the nation and abroad? Will you allow your daughter to travel solo in a country where violence against women just doesn’t seem to die down? Share your thoughts with us on our social media handles.