Being A Brown Daughter: How I Was Conditioned To Be The Sensitive Gender

Gender stereotypes unfortunately don't seem to die down. Once in a while, I come across a whole new ball game and it immediately takes me back to all the times stereotypes weighed me down. When I recently got into an argument with an acquaintance and it ended up in an ugly war of words, I was told that I didn't sound ladylike. In a jiffy, I was back to the time I was schooled to act girly growing up.

You Were Born A Girl, Act Like One

Girls should be sensitive on all fronts, the way they speak, emote, their conduct, and clothing to name a few. Girls should feel strongly about others, they should understand the problems of others and act accordingly. Sensitivity also means you are aware of what others need and try your best to get them what they need and make them feel good.

Growing up, I was taught that talking back isn't a good thing, and getting into arguments with my sibling wasn't girly. Every time I would ask my family, why the disparity, they would tell me women are expected to act this way, they should be sensitive in all aspects, physically, mentally, and emotionally. The constant fear of what others would think should prevail.

Unfortunately, sensitivity is associated with weakness and thus makes more sense for a woman to have the trait. People around us too quickly manage to convince us that being sensitive is being weak. This once again comes down to how women are the weaker, more sensitive gender among the rest, thus, the second-class treatment.

Over time, we get used to it, deliberately act a certain way, and feel guilty for not adhering to the set societal standards for us. This further makes us lose a lot, many opportunities, and many times, ourselves too.

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To date, there are times when I undergo a self-check, am I being too sensitive, should I check my tone, am I conducting myself right? The conditioning continues to exist and impacts me in some way or the other every day.

The Curious Case Of Gender Roles

It all roots from gender roles, the societal norms that expect us to act, talk, and dress, based on our sex. Over the years, these gender roles have only made this world a difficult place to inhabit for all genders.

The stereotypes should be attributed to curtailing most things in our life, right from our regular interests to feelings to goals. Since the world has been conditioned to look at everyone through the lens of gender roles, we are looked at with expectations based on our sex, and at times, these are unrealistic, so much so that they scar us in ways never imagined.

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Time and again, we fail to understand that humans can be sensitive, and as strange as it might sound, sensitivity isn't gender dependent. What are your thoughts on stereotypes around gender roles? Share with us on our social media handles.