The nasty victim blaming attitude of society continues to persist in spite of all the education and awareness around violence against women. Case in point, the Shraddha Walkar murder case.
Recently, the Union Minister of State, Ministry of Housing, and Urban Affairs, Kaushal Kishore, while speaking about the gruesome Shradhha Walkar murder case said that educated women, who choose a western evil like a live-in relationship over marriage, are to be blamed. Sounds familiar? Well, this isn't the first time a victim is being pointed at. Victim blaming culture resides in the heart of this nation and there seems no silver lining.
A couple, head-over-heels in love. decides to move in together. Days later, the boyfriend brutally murders his partner and mutilates her body. Police uncovered it all seven months later. Who's to blame? As per our patriarchal society, it is the victim. The barrage of questions were all directed towards the victim: 'She shouldn't have moved in with him', 'Why didn't she inform her parents about the abuse', 'Why did she choose him in the first place'. The suggestions and questions are incessant.
Like any of us, Shraddha Walkar was a girl who wanted to live her life her own way. The questions should be directed towards society and men who are taught that violence against women isn’t the real issue. And in the meanwhile here are five questions society should stop asking about the Shraddha Walkar case.
1. Why did Shraddha Walkar move in with Aftab Poonawala?
Shraddha Walker's murder case has once again brought back the live-in relationship debate back to the spotlight. Live-in relationships have always been labeled as unethical and too liberating for the longest time. Though there aren't any laws governing live-in relationships in India, they are legal.
2. Why did Shraddha Walkar continue to stay in such a toxic relationship?
Recently, Whatsapp chats of Shraddha with her friends from the year 2020 went viral. In her messages, she informed them about being brutally beaten by her live-in partner Aftab. Now netizens are calling out Shraddha for ignoring the red flags in her relationship. Multiple Tweets suggest how Shraddha would have been alive today if she ended her relationship back then.
However, nobody talked about the pain she must have gone through or how difficult it would have been for her to get out of the toxic relationship. A toxic partner can easily manipulate and influence their significant other, so it is never easy to walk away from such situations. (Shraddha Walker Case: How Sensational Details Can Trigger Deadly Domino Effect, Experts Discuss)
3. Why did Shraddha Walkar fall for a Muslim?
Shraddha Walkar and her partner Aftab Poonawala belonged to different faiths. Many now are questioning what made the 27-year-old fall for a Muslim guy. When two people fall in love, they keep their faith in love, not jihad. This is definitely the most bigoted whataboutery.
Inter-religion marriages and relationships are heavily stigmatised in India. For a certain section of society, love is always criminalised and not celebrated in our country.
4. Why did Shraddha Walkar leave her parents?
Apparently, Walkar left her family’s house when her they opposed her decision to move in with Poonawala. However, little did she know that it would turn into such an ill- fated affair.
5. Why didn't Shraddha Walkar reach out to her family or friends?
If Shraddha Walkar realised she was in a toxic and unhealthy relationship, why didn't she reach out for help? She did. Apparently, Shraddha Walkar reached out to friend, Laxman Nadar, and asked him to rescue her from her residence because she felt her live-in partner would kill him. As per reports, Shraddha's friend Laxman and some others did help her and warned Aftab too. However, after this Walkar completely stopped responding to messages and calls from her friends for two months. Her friends became worried but couldn't locate her whereabouts.
Some key questions in the Shraddha Walkar murder case still remain unanswered but some shouldn't be asked in the first place.
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