Being A Brown Daughter: When My Career Wasn't Taken Seriously By My Parents

I come from a business family where my father ran a manufacturing unit set by my grandfather. Though my grandmother and mother were well-educated and were interested in joining the workforce, they never could. On being asked why, they told me it was normal and that even if they were working, they would have quit after marriage. Having a career wasn't mandatory for the women in our family.

For the longest time, I thought having a career wasn't essential for a woman. No wonder I was clueless every time someone would ask me about my plans after high school. While I was awaiting my class 12th results, I started reading books, and magazines and explored the world virtually. Women across the world were reaching new heights in different spheres. I read many success stories and they were an eye-opener for me and helped me condition my mind.

Convincing For A Job

I got myself enrolled for a degree in English Honours. Over time, I developed an interest in writing. I started writing poems, short stories. Every week I would read them to my family and win praises. I had identified my talent and soon set my goal. I wanted to become a published writer. After completing my graduation, I started looking for writing jobs because I felt I was a work in progress and there was still a long way to go.

My father asked me to join the family business part-time rather than doing a 9 to 5 job. Believe me, it took me months to convince him to let me take up a job. 'Karle job karni hai toh, shaadi ke baad toh waise bhi kuch karne ko nahi milega' (take up the job if you want to, after marriage you won't be able to continue anyway). Even though he agreed, there came a list of conditions. I had to look for a job close to my house and someone from my family would drop and pick me up every day.

I bagged my first writing job at a company offering content writing services. I wasn't offered the best opening package. I got an in-hand salary of ₹10,000, and worked for a nine-hour shift, six days a week. Nevertheless, I felt content.

I remember getting my first salary. I excitedly asked everyone to get ready for a treat only to hear that they will never eat food from a daughter's money, as it is a sin.

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Job Vs Marriage & Kids

Now I had a job, a set plan for years ahead but more barriers were on the way. My mother started looking for a suitable boy for my marriage. She said I was of age and I should not leave everything and focus on getting married. I agreed but my condition was that I will never stop working or give up on my career. Even though my parents acted convinced, they would ask me to quit my job and rethink every time the boy's family told them that they were okay with the rishta only if I stop working post-marriage.

Years later, I got into the media, wrote opinion pieces, and fiction stories, and interviewed celebrities. It was a dream job. And I held my ground. Believe me, many arguments later too, my parents didn't support me for rejecting 'good rishtas' who asked me to quit my job after marriage. (Women share the biggest challenges they face at workplace)

Today, when I look back, I know what contributed to my family's notion. Women should be homemakers, not career-oriented, and this idea is deeply ingrained in our minds. So, the number of women in the workforce today continues to be low because they aren't 'allowed' to pursue a career. No wonder even if women manage to build successful careers, it isn't taken seriously because they eventually have to take up a role at home, look after the house, raise children, and feed the family.

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Even though I am a married woman today, a mother, I continue to work towards my goal. Every day, society throws new challenges at me and I try my best to keep up with my beliefs. As I say that, I am aware that many women continue to struggle to pursue their dreams. Women continue to compromise on their goals because their dreams, and careers aren't taken seriously. But why? Time we all rethink!