'Abdominally Not Vaginally, We Still Gave Birth': 4 Women Recall C-Section Shaming

Just a week before my estimated date of delivery (EDD), I woke up with a decreased foetal movement. I panicked. I immediately rushed to the hospital with my husband where I underwent an NST (non stress test).

My baby was underweight and my gynaecologist had prepped me mentally for certain complications way ahead of my EDD. However, my anxiety was always on the rise. My doctors monitored the NST for about an hour and there was nothing to worry about. The team was positive about a vaginal delivery.

I was injected with oxytocin to increase contractions because I was way far from active labour. I was on stage 1 and the cervix had started to dilate. My doctors were constantly keeping an eye on the NST monitor. About three hours later, they noticed some irregularities in the foetal heart beat.

I was rushed to the operation theatre where a local anaesthetic was injected in my spine. Seven surgical incisions later, my baby made it to the world. I gave birth abdominally, not vaginally. Hours later I was up, expressing milk for my munchkin.

Baby and I were home. Friends and family started to show up. Over time, I uncovered how people around me had immense respect for women who delivered “naturally”.

'Aaj kal ki ladkiyon ko toh dard ke bina he bachha paida karna hai' (These days girls want pain- free deliveries), 'Tumhe kya pata bachhe paida karna kya hota hai' (You don't know what it is like to give birth), 'Did you not do any Yoga asanas during pregnancy?', 'Poora din toh baithi rehti hai, operation se he hona tha bachha' (They are sitting all day, they will have a C-section delivery only), the statements were brutal.

C-section is a major surgery and brings along multiple risks and complications. It isn't a cake walk! I wasn't surprised when I spoke to other women about C-section shaming. Many I know were subjected to it and here's what they had to share -

‘I Felt Shameful And Guilty At One Point’ -

Shweta, Kids Photographer

"When I was carrying twins I used to always watch and read about how I can possibly reach a state where I can deliver my twins naturally. In my case, since they were sharing the same placenta, they were identical twins and medically it wasn't safe for the me and my babies to undergo a normal delivery. However, I realised that we carry a certain shame when it comes to C-section maybe it is because of our belief system as women we are taught that natural birth is the best birth.

Normal delivery is considered the true experience of a mother giving birth because of the pain, it is believed to be the best for the mother and the child bonding. I think it is the mindset and we need to change that.

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For normal delivery, a mother might need less time for recovery but bouncing back to the old strength and capacity takes time. I had a C-section and it took me about an year to get back on my feet and gain my strength back. More power to women who go through C-section.

Also, I have noticed that there is some hesitance in women responding to a question around their delivery. Most women end up justifying and it sounds like they are guilty after having a C-section. At some point of time, I felt shameful and guilty too. Soon I understood that till I am okay and my babies are fine, it doesn't matter how they arrived in this world."

‘They Said I Wasn't Strong Enough’ -

Neha, IT Professional

"C- section is a very big operation but it is considered to be an easy option. People around say - only strong people can go for normal delivery. With the C- section it's pain free. But the truth is far from their statements."

‘I Was Questioned For My Choice Of Delivery’

Namita, Communication Professional

"I delivered my baby boy last year via C-section. Reason for the C- sec was purely medical and there was no scope for the doctors to wait for a normal delivery. I strongly believe that mother and baby need to be healthy and I wanted my baby in my hands, safe. Post delivery I was often questioned by my in-laws. Trust me this is not something that we need to be worried about. C-section is just another normal way of giving birth and at the end, a happy mother and healthy baby matters!" (Tips for new mothers to stay healthy)

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‘They Said I Wanted A Painless Delivery’ -

Gunjan, Housewife

I was told that if I laze around, I will have a C-section. I was told that doing household chores will help me have a natural delivery. However, later, when I had a C-section because of medical reasons, I was told that I got it done through caesarean because I wanted a painless delivery.

There is no easy way of giving birth. No matter how you gave birth to your baby, you have every single reason to celebrate yourself and your little one. You created life, you are a mother above all and you should take pride in it!

If you are a mother who faced C-section shaming, share your story with us on our social media handle and we will be happy to share it with our readers. For more such stories, stay tuned to HerZindagi.com

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