In today's dynamic dating landscape, a new term has emerged among Gen Z: ‘chameleoning’. This behaviour involves altering one's personality, interests, or behaviour to align with a partner's preferences, often at the expense of one's authentic self. While adapting to a partner's needs is natural, excessive chameleoning can lead to emotional distress and a loss of individuality.
What Is Chameleoning?
Chameleoning refers to the tendency to change one's core identity to fit into a relationship. Unlike healthy compromise, it involves suppressing personal values and preferences to gain approval or avoid conflict. This behaviour can stem from a deep-seated fear of rejection or a strong desire for acceptance.
According to Dr Sneha Sharma, psychiatrist and co-founder of Anvaya Healthcare, Delhi, several factors contribute to chameleoning:
- Fear of Rejection: Individuals may alter themselves to prevent perceived rejection.
- Low Self-Esteem: A lack of self-worth can lead to self-concealment.
- Avoidance of Conflict: Some change to maintain harmony, even at the cost of personal identity.
Dr Sharma emphasises that while adapting to a partner's preferences is healthy, losing one's authentic self can be detrimental to both individuals and the relationship.
Signs of Chameleoning
Recognising chameleoning is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Some signs include:
- Frequently agreeing with a partner's opinions, even when they differ from your own.
- Adopting new hobbies or interests solely to please your partner.
- Suppressing personal feelings to avoid conflict.
- Feeling disconnected or lost in the relationship.

Chameleoning Impact on Relationships
While initial chameleoning might seem to strengthen a bond, over time, it can lead to:
- Emotional Disconnect: Partners may feel they are not truly known or understood.
- Resentment: The individual may harbour unexpressed frustrations.
- Loss of Identity: Suppressing one's true self can lead to confusion and dissatisfaction.
Dr Sharma advises that open communication and self-awareness are essential to prevent chameleoning.
Chameleoning in relationships highlights the delicate balance between adaptation and authenticity. While it's natural to adjust to a partner's needs, it's equally important to maintain one's identity.
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