Social media has become a constant presence in our lives, helping us stay connected with loved ones and the world. But it can also bring stress, distraction, and insecurity into romantic relationships. It’s common to hear couples arguing over something as trivial as social media use, with one partner demanding the other either cut back or completely delete their accounts to save the relationship.
But is this a healthy solution, or is it more about control than compromise? To get a better understanding, we spoke with Dr S A Idrees, Consultant in Psychiatry at Manipal Hospital Bhubaneswar.
Taking a break from social media together to build trust or reduce distractions can be a healthy compromise, as long as it’s a mutual decision. However, if you’re deleting your accounts out of fear of conflict, disapproval, or losing the relationship, that’s a warning sign. According to Dr Idrees, “A loving partner shouldn’t ask you to sacrifice aspects of your life to make them feel secure. When this happens, your independence starts to diminish. A real compromise is empowering, not restricting, and should always be a voluntary decision, not an obligation.”
When one partner asks the other to delete social media, it’s rarely about the app itself, but often rooted in deeper emotional issues. Dr Idrees explains, “These demands are often tied to fears of being replaced, feeling inadequate, or unresolved pain from past betrayals. Such behaviours can stem from insecure attachment styles, like anxious or avoidant attachment. These are signals that a person is experiencing emotional distress and fears losing their partner. The way to address this is through empathy and open communication, without defensiveness.”
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Jealousy is a natural emotion, but how it’s handled can make all the difference. Instead of controlling one another’s behaviour, couples can create a space to talk openly about what triggers these feelings. Dr. Idrees suggests asking, “Am I reacting to something happening in the real world, or is it influenced by social media?” Often, we judge our partner more harshly based on their virtual presence than on their real-life actions.
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Establishing shared boundaries rather than rigid rules around online interactions is essential. It’s also okay to take breaks from social media together or be transparent without breaching privacy. Working on personal self-esteem and building trust in the relationship, sometimes with a therapist’s help, can transform jealousy into an opportunity for growth instead of conflict.
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