Is Ghosting Always Toxic? Experts Weigh In On What It Reveals About You

Let’s admit it, most of us have found ourselves caught up in a toxic relationship at some point, be it with a partner, a friend, or even a coworker. It often feels like being stuck in a messy Netflix plot, just without the snacks or the comfort of your sofa. In such situations, ghosting or cutting off all communication without explanation, has become increasingly common, especially in today’s digital age of dating and quick messaging.

But is ghosting just a harmless escape, or is it a sign of deeper emotional avoidance? While some argue it’s a clean way to walk away from uncomfortable dynamics, others call it a form of emotional neglect masked as self-care. 

To better understand the psychology behind ghosting, we spoke to Dr Chandni Tugnait—MD (A.M), renowned psychotherapist, life coach, and founder of Gateway of Healing—who shed light on this complex behaviour.

What Is Ghosting?

Ghosting is a modern-day dating term used to describe the act of suddenly ending all communication with someone without any warning or explanation. The person being ghosted is often left confused, especially when their attempts to reconnect or seek closure are completely ignored. The term ‘ghosting’ comes from the idea that the person disappears as if they’ve vanished into thin air like a ghost leaving the other person in the dark.

Is Ghosting Always Toxic? 

Ghosting is often a way for someone to avoid uncomfortable conversations. It removes the need for confrontation, vulnerability, or explaining emotions. However, by taking this easy way out, the person also takes away the other’s chance for clarity, closure, and basic emotional respect. According to Dr Tugnait, this silence can feel even more painful than an actual goodbye, often leaving the other person feeling confused, rejected, and doubting their self-worth.

She said, “Ghosting can sometimes reflect a deeper difficulty with managing emotional boundaries and dealing with conflict. Instead of addressing discomfort directly, the person opts to disappear. This behaviour may point to a fear of emotional accountability or a lack of healthy communication skills.”

As Dr Tugnait emphasises, when this pattern becomes a habit, it can weaken emotional depth and lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics.

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What Ghosting Reveals About Your Personality?

• Discomfort with emotional accountability: Ghosting often reflects a deep discomfort with facing emotional consequences. Dr. Chandni Tugnait explains that some individuals choose silence over confrontation because they struggle with the idea of being responsible for someone else’s hurt. By vanishing, they avoid being “seen” as the reason for someone else’s pain.
• Difficulty with assertiveness: Not all ghosters act out of cruelty. Many are simply conflict-avoidant. They find it hard to express disinterest or say no directly, fearing that honesty might come across as rude or hurtful. This inability to communicate openly is often mistaken for indifference.
• Need for control: Ghosting can also be a way of managing control. By leaving suddenly, the ghoster controls the when and how of the exit. According to Dr. Tugnait, this may be linked to a discomfort with unpredictability or vulnerability so the person chooses to end things on their own terms, without having to answer any questions.

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At its core, ghosting often says more about the person who walks away than the one left behind. It’s not always intentionally cruel, but it is incomplete. True emotional growth lies in learning how to part ways with honesty and empathy with grace, not silence.

Keep reading Herzindagi for more such stories.

Credits: Freepik