6 Expert Tips For Healing After an Abusive Relationship

According to Dr Arvind Otta, Senior Psychologist and Mental Health Activist, "Recovering from an abusive relationship is a highly personal individual journey that requires time, patience, and compassion toward oneself." Priyanka Kapoor, a Psychotherapist and Family Counsellor, adds that emotional control and self-reflection are crucial.

6 Tips On How to Heal After an Abusive Relationship

Here are six expert-backed tips on how to heal after an abusive relationship.

Acknowledge the Abuse and Accept Your Reality

The first step in healing is to accept that you’ve been abused. Dr Otta emphasises, “Awareness of and acceptance of the abuse is the first thing that is necessary.” This is crucial because many survivors carry the burden of shame or guilt. Recognising that it 'is not your fault' and that you 'deserve to be treated with respect and dignity' can break the emotional chains holding you back.

Healing Takes Time—Don’t Rush It

Healing from abuse is not linear, and there is no fixed timeline. Priyanka Kapoor stresses, “Healing from a toxic relationship might take anywhere from six months to a year.” She adds that recovery depends entirely on the individual and the depth of the abuse. "Rushing the process will only delay your emotional recovery," she warns. Give yourself the time to heal at your own pace.

Emotional Independence is Non-Negotiable

It’s tempting to seek validation from others when you're feeling vulnerable, but Kapoor warns that entering another relationship too soon can lead to repeating toxic cycles. “If you are still emotionally needy, even a healthy relationship could become toxic,” she says. Instead, focus on building emotional independence. Prioritise healing over romance, and refrain from entering a relationship until you are completely emotionally self-sufficient.

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Self-reflection is a Powerful Tool for Growth

Self-reflection plays a pivotal role in the healing process. Dr Otta encourages survivors to practice introspection by stating, “Self-reflection would allow you to examine the patterns of relationships, their healthy boundaries for future connections, and some mistakes made along the way.” By learning from the past, you can develop healthier habits and avoid toxic patterns in future relationships. Reflecting on the abuse helps you understand how to break free from harmful dynamics.

Forgive, But Don’t Forget—Focus on Moving Forward

Forgiveness is a critical part of emotional healing, but it does not mean excusing the abuse. Dr Otta states, “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it enlarges the future.” By forgiving both yourself and your abuser, you release the toxic grip the past holds on you. However, remember that forgiveness should be for your emotional freedom, not for the abuser. This act of letting go creates space for personal growth and empowerment.

Rebuild Self-Worth and Set Boundaries

Kapoor insists, “Increase your self-esteem, concentrate on your development, and engage in a lot of self-reflection.” As you work on rebuilding your self-worth, learn to set and maintain boundaries. Whether in relationships, work, or family life, establishing clear limits is essential in protecting your emotional health. Strengthening your sense of self and knowing what you deserve is crucial in avoiding future toxicity and building healthy connections.

Healing from an abusive relationship is a personal and often challenging journey, but it is entirely possible with the right mindset and support. Abuse in any form—physical, emotional, or psychological—is unacceptable.

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