"Mom is a tigress when it comes to me,” said Masha while describing her mother Anuradha in ‘Tribhanga’, a film that not only showcased the reality of a dysfunctional family and traumatised childhood but also redefined motherhood through its lead characters.
We have often heard the definition of a good mother from people around us. She is the sacrificing goddess who would stay in a bad marriage or relationship because of her kids or leave her career behind because she must prioritise her household. But what do we call a woman who does not pay heed to these norms and carves her path? She is immediately labelled a bad mother, an overambitious woman and an arrogant individual.
Available on Netflix, it stars Kajol (Anuradha), Mithila Palkar (Masha) and Tanvi Azmi (Nayantara) as women from three generations who in their way have different definitions of motherhood. Kunal Roy Kapur played Milan Upadhayay was the chain joining all the dots so the stories of these characters could make sense.
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Nayan was a woman who loved her kids unconditionally and had a passion for writing which her husband and mother-in-law never respected. After bearing taunts for years, she takes Anuradha and Robindoro, played by Vaibhav Tatwawadi, away from their paternal home, divorces her husband and leads her life.
She again found a love, whom she marries and later divorces because things didn't work out between them. Years later she comes to know that he sexually abused Anu multiple times. “Everything was happening in front of my eyes, only I could not see it,” she added while sharing her story for her biography that Milan was writing.
Anu was a child who was first separated from her father, sexually abused by her stepfather, beaten by her partner and felt neglected by her mother. Despite her traumatic life, here is how she redefined motherhood.
No Relation Is Above Her Kid
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Anu and Nayan never shared a cordial relationship after her stepfather sexually abused her. When she started living with Dimitri, whom she met at a film festival, she got pregnant.
Nayan did not know, but Dimitri used to beat Anu. In one incident, he kicked her stomach while she was heavily pregnant with Masha. As soon as Anu realised what he did, she beat him up and threw him out of the house. Unaware of the entire incident, Nayan came to see her and asked why she beat Dimitri.
The moment when Dimitri kicked Anu, she almost embodies a tigress who would go to any length to save her baby and would not care who was standing in front of her. While she felt neglected by her mother, she made sure that her child knew about her priorities. She made sure that her child felt safe in her company and knew that her mother was always there with her.
Single Mother Unapologetic About Her Choices
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In another conversation, Masha tells Milan that Anu had many boyfriends in her life, but she did not bring anyone home. It does show that Anu, though was a single mother, her life did not revolve around her daughter. She had relationships, and she was unapologetic about her romantic life and multiple partners.
However, she was also cautious of her daughter’s safety, which is why she never brought any of her boyfriends home. It was also because of her experience with her stepfather that Anu never felt that her daughter would be secure in the company of a man she was in relation with. Therefore, she had a clear demarcation in her head. She had many partners, but she did not want to risk history repeating itself.
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Mothers Are Imperfect Because They Are Humans
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Kajol as Anuradha was far from being perfect, and she knew it. She had grudges against her mother, and all she wanted was for her to wake up from the coma and say sorry to her for ruining her life.
By the end of the film, she realised that though she tried to be a perfect mother and did everything opposite to what her mother did, she was still an imperfect person. However, she accepted it.
Anu realised that Masha, married in a conservative family, had a gender-determination test to find out if she was having a boy or a girl. She and her husband planned to convince their family in case it was a girl, but tests confirmed that it was a boy.
It infuriated Anu to know that her daughter would bend to the rules and whims of society that she and her mother despised all through their lives. However, she learnt that Masha would do anything to provide her baby with a family to grow in.
As Anu learnt from the mistakes of her mother, she realised that her daughter was doing the same. She was teased and bullied in her school for not having a father. She was called an illegitimate child, and it bugged her throughout her life. Therefore, she wanted her baby to grow up in a family that she never had.
When Anu came to know about bullying and how her daughter felt, Masha said, “It was all happening in front of you. How could you not realise it?” It also made Anu realise that her mother did everything she could for her kids. It was not her fault that her husband was a sexual predator, but Anu also never shared anything with her.
She immediately apologised to Masha for ruining her childhood. She also told her daughter that she (Anu) and her mother might have made indifferent choices, but they were their choices and were never imposed on them.
As much as Anu wished Nayan could say sorry to her, she forgave her in her last moments. She realised that no mother is perfect, but every mother wishes the best for their kids, they learn from their experiences and learn on the job. There is no document following which a mother can be judged and categorised as being a good or a bad mother.
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Society might have labels, but the fact remains that a mother is an individual who can also make mistakes. She is a human first and does not need a hammer banging her head to be perfect and match the patriarchal standards. She does not need to overlook her life, let go of her passion and devote herself to her household to win the award for the best mother. Every mother is doing the best she can, and it is all that matters.
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