Another Life Lost To The Barbaric Dowry Practice, Why ‘Happily Ever After’ Still Comes With A Hidden Cost In India

19-year-old Tolari Koch Gogoi allegedly took her own life after enduring physical and mental torture from her husband, Ramesh Gogoi, over dowry money recently. A case was filed against her husband Ramesh Gogoi under Section 304-B of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) while the police are still investigating if there was a possibility of child marriage since Tolari is believed to be underage when married. Tolari's mother in a report by Hindustan Times stressed her daughter's mental health, her depression, and the constant fear under which she survived with husband Ramesh.

This incident highlights the noxious aftermath of dowry practices. In 2022, India recorded over 6,450 dowry deaths, underscoring the persistence of this social evil in a society that otherwise claims to be progressive.

The practice of giving and accepting dowry remains disturbingly acceptable in the country and it is further sickening to witness the sense of pride people associate with dowry. No wonder videos from the 'len-den' ceremony, proudly displaying the 'gifts' from the bride's side go viral on social media in a jiffy.

"Happily Ever After" Costing Lives

Unfortunately, some men still regard themselves as ‘golden tickets’, expecting substantial dowries in return, now labelled as ‘gifts’. The aftermath? Women who envision their weddings as celebrations of love see the union turning into a funeral of dreams.

Dowry deaths reported from both rural and urban areas across the country highlight that the real issue lies in the mindset. The belief that dowry is a source of income, a means to extort money and gifts from the bride's family, serves as proof of how our societal roots are deeply rotten. Thanks to the deep-seated cultural traditions, societal expectations, and lack of effective legal enforcement among other factors that we continue to see dowry as a status symbol and familial honour and associate no shame with it.

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"Despite laws prohibiting dowry & punishing dowry-related violence in India, the enforcement is usually unmethodical. Corruption and a lack of resources in addition hinder effective legal action. Many cases of dowry harassment and deaths across the country go unreported due to societal stigma, lack of awareness about legal remedies available and that further exacerbates the situation leading to low conviction rates,” said Siddharth Chandrashekhar, Advocate and Legal Counsel, Bombay High Court.

Regardless of the existing laws against dowry in the country, why have we ended up normalising this crime and woven it into the fabric of wedding customs, now disguised as 'gifts’? It all boils down to the despicable perspectives towards women in India. If we only paid heed to how the normalisation can perpetuate numerous other heinous crimes against women, such as female foeticide, domestic violence, and sexual harassment, to name a few.

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It's high time we shift our mindsets and rewrite the script for all the women so that moving forward, they don't dread marriage due to the burden of dowry. The evil system of dowry needs to be wiped out at its very root, or it will continue to claim precious lives. Don’t you think?