It is common for people to confuse attachment with love, as both emotions can feel intense and deeply connected. However, they are fundamentally different, and understanding the distinction can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Attachment is often driven by fear, insecurity, or the need for validation, while love is a deeper, more selfless emotion based on mutual respect, understanding, and emotional growth.
Signs You Are Mistaking Attachment For Love
To understand the difference between love and attachment, we reached out to Archana Singhal, Counsellor and Family Therapist, Founder, Mindwell Counsel, Delhi and she stated the following points:
Fear of Loss Over Genuine Connection
“One of the most noticeable signs of attachment is the overwhelming fear of losing the person. If you find yourself more afraid of being alone or losing your partner than actually building a meaningful connection with them, this could be attachment. Attachment is often rooted in insecurity and the fear of being without someone, while love is about emotional intimacy and shared experiences,” said Archana.
Constant Need for Validation
Another indicator of attachment over love is a constant need for validation. If you rely on your partner to affirm your worth regularly and feel anxious or lost without their approval, you might be attached, not truly in love. True love is built on mutual respect and understanding, and while reassurance is part of any healthy relationship, it doesn’t create the emotional crutch that attachment does.
Unhealthy Dependence
If you feel like you cannot live without your partner or believe that they are the sole source of your happiness and fulfilment, it could be a sign of unhealthy attachment. Attachment often stems from a fear of being alone or incomplete, causing you to depend too heavily on your partner for emotional well-being. Love, on the other hand, allows for individuality.
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Staying for Comfort, Not Growth
“Attachment can also manifest when you stay in a relationship simply for comfort or because it’s familiar, rather than for growth or shared aspirations. If you find yourself sticking around because it feels easier to stay in a routine than to face the discomfort of change, you might be mistaking attachment for love. Love thrives on mutual growth, encouragement, and striving toward common goals. It challenges both people to become better versions of themselves, while attachment keeps you stuck in a cycle of complacency,” said Archana.
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Love could be complicated, but identifying if you are really in love with the person or just attached to them could require evaluating your feelings on a deeper level. The above-given signs might help you make better decisions.
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