Kabir Singh and toxic male chauvinism: No women do not love schmucks

Starring Shahid Kapoor in the titular role and Kiara Advani as his meek love interest, Kabir Singh, is arguably Shahid’s career best. The film, which is much focused on putting its arrogant, problematic and aggressive male lead on a pedestal, gives Shahid ample opportunity to showcase his versatility in a character that is twisted in more ways than one.

However, there is a deep-rooted problem with the movie which is nothing less than a chauvinist, toxic male saga that is exceptionally and outrightly patriarchal, misogynist and misleading in its portrayal. Not just that, the narrative goes one step forward to suggest, that women like the idea of a lunatic lover, who “can go to any extremes” to get what he wants. As a member of the women audience, let me just say this – No, we do not love schmucks like Kabir Singh – we get them arrested.

The Protagonist

Kabir Singh is not only abusive towards his peers, family or even love interest, he showcases a deep sense of pride in throwing abuses or mistreating people.

At a time when we are still dealing with the shock of an abusive society, which has time and again failed to protect its women and children, the movie glorifies sexual harassment, casteism and abuse in the most heroic way.

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Here is a man, the hero, who is sex-starved and so desperate in his search to find that one vulnerable soul on whom he can literally unleash his animal instincts, that he doesn’t mind pointing a knife at a woman who refuses to take her pants off. Just the idea of dealing with such an incident in real-life is sending shivers down my body.

Did we really want to spend our time and money on tickets and popcorn to watch the corny story of a super-possessive lover, the one who can go all out to get and ‘protect’ the love of his life. Imagine this man’s delusion that even slapping his girlfriend seems to be part of his territorial claim. It is not a case of a flawed character of the film, it is the narrative. The director presents the woman, Kiara Advani, as nothing more than a piece of furniture- meek, fragile and helpless. And just in case you forgot to sympathise with her ordeal, she cries at the drop of a hat.

Problematic Plot

The glorification of Kabir’s abusive spiral, alcoholism and drugs should be downright unacceptable to any progressive, educated society. But the problem is the cheers that this act wins from the audience and a stamp of approval which seems to hail anything that is vehemently violent, regressive, drab and unruly.

For me despite Kabir’s loyalty and devotion towards Preeti, it fails to work since the narrative draws an almost invisible line between chivalry and chauvinism.

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To make my point crystal clear, here are a few lines from the movie that scream toxic male chauvinism. ‘Preeti chunni thik karo’, ‘ye meri bandi hai’ and all. Wonder why the female “lead” wasn’t given an equal chance to make similar announcements just to lay her claim and clear things out for girls who were having big crush on this superficial act of love.

Where The Society Fails

What is even more appalling is that Shahid Kapoor, the lead actor of the movie, is there to defend the misogynist and chauvinist charge on his labour of love and hard work by saying ‘It is a phase in everyone’s life, we all become self-destructive’. What more can we ask for in a society where post December 16, post the candle marches, post the terms misogyny and phrases like "No means No" - Kabir Singh is doing a disservice by glorifying harassment as a virtue.

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It is high time that we, as a society, own up to our misleading sense of love and heroism and understand the difference between toxic male bigotry and yearning for a selfless love.

Choose your heroes wisely!