Navratri 2023: While Skandmata Symbolises Motherhood, Women Still Fight For Have Bodily Autonomy

Day five of Navratri is about worshipping Skandmata. She is the form of Mahadevi, mother of warrior god Kartikeya and lives in Vishuddha chakra. She has four arms and three eyes and rides a lion. One of her hands is in a dispelling position, while the other holds her infant. The third and fourth hands hold lotus.

In many old pictures, she is shown as sitting on a lotus, which is why she is often referred to as Padamasani. Though she is a mother, she represents that a woman’s identity goes beyond motherhood. Devotees worship her for prosperity, salvation, treasure and power, yet women in reality live with very limited choices.

Women Are (Not) Baby-vending Machines

Biologically or rather ‘naturally’ it is a woman who can create a life inside her and welcome a baby into this world. However, she is not a baby-vending machine and, femininity cannot be defined by it.

In India as well as in the world, a woman is expected to bear children irrespective of her choice. Take, for example, the USA. After the overturning of Roe v. Wade, women have been compelled to carry on with their pregnancies. Since abortion has been banned in most states, women have to resort to unsafe options that often lead to complications, long-term health issues and in some cases death.

Religious people think it is a woman’s duty to produce an heir orrather a bunch of kids for the family. Many right extremists believe it to be a sin to abort a foetus. But there is a catch. In many cases, abortion is a sin if the foetus is a boy, however, if it is a girl, the unwavering word of God becomes flexible.

The famous love tale of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal is also flawed. It is believed that the king built the Taj Mahal in memory of his wife. However, everyone failed to address that she died giving birth to their fourteenth baby.

There cannot be a better example than surrogacy where a woman is turned into a baby-vending machine. Yes, medical science gives people an option to become parents when they are struggling with any fertility issue. However, people have been running a multi-crore business out of it. While medically, a woman must have a gap of at least three years between two pregnancies, several reports surfaced in the last few decades when a surrogate is impregnated within three months of delivery.

There are laws surrounding it, but crime always finds a loophole. These women are mostly from rural parts of India. They are uneducated and do it for the money. It is crucial to note that commercial surrogacy is banned in India. Female foeticide is one of the grief issues that India is currently dealing with. A report published by Pew Research Centre in 2022, found nine million girls were missing between 2000 and 2019 as a result of this heinous crime.

The team of researchers compiled data from the previous three reports of the National Family Health Survey (NFHS). It included the latest that had data for 2019-2020. The report pointed out that though Hindus make up 79.8% of the population, their account for missing girls makes up 86.7%. The term ‘missing’ was used because these girls were never born and became a part of the population.

In 2016, the first-ever study published by the Asian Centre for Human Rights, an NGO based in New Delhi, stated that the dowry system in South Asia makes daughters ‘an economic burden’, a leading cause of female infanticide. Since the determination of sex before birth is an illegal offence, people opt for a different route and kill baby girls. Sadly they do not think that they are committing a sin.

Things have improved in the last few years, in fact, the sex ratio has also improved.

However, women are still deprived of bodily autonomy. The moment a couple gets married, people start putting the expectation to have a baby as soon as possible. Many still make sad faces when a girl is born and urge the couple to try next time to have a baby boy.

Nobody has ever stopped to ask if a woman wanted to have a baby. It is an assumption that she has maternal instincts and would not feel her life complete unless she opts for motherhood.

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Reasons Why Women Struggle To Achieve Bodily Autonomy

The fact that a woman’s existence is considered to be complete only if she opts for motherhood is the biggest reason why we are struggling to achieve bodily autonomy. The government and judiciary in countries decide if a woman can have a child, how many children she should reproduce and whether or not she can abort the foetus.

There was a dialogue in the famous American sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Rachel told Ross, “No uterus, no opinion.” The audience in the background laughed at it because they found the punchline hilarious. But shouldn’t it be the case? Should it not be a woman’s decision to have or not to have a baby? To opt for sterilisation or continue having a baby.

Another American series, Grey’s Anatomy had a character named Christina Yang who refused to have kids because she had other purposes in life. She wanted to be the best cardiothoracic surgeon, and she devoted every part of her being to fulfil her dream.

In fact, Vidya Balan’s character in Sherni gave a befitting reply when asked what she would do when she gets old if she would not have any kids. She said she would indulge in travelling, yoga, gardening, reading and writing.

Why does a woman have to opt for motherhood in order to be labelled complete? Why can’t her life be just about her? And even if she is a mother, her individuality is more than that. For example, Alia Bhatt is more than just a ‘new mother’. She is an actor, top of her field, a producer, a singer and whatnot.

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What Can Be Done?

Feminity is a wider concept than getting married and having a baby. Today, more and more women are opting to not get married or have a baby. They have their reasons, but nothing makes them less of a woman. It is the definition of femininity defined by the society that needs to change.

We have to stop judging and shaming women for their decisions. It is their body, they have the right to decide what happens to it. They can have a baby or not have it. They can go for a C-section instead of vaginal delivery. They can decide how to raise their baby. They can decide whether to have a baby out of wedlock or completely forego the thought of marriage and adopting a child.

We do not have the right to judge a woman based on her choices. If her decisions do not fall into the traditional construct, it does not make her any less of a woman. It’s her body, and only her choice is what matters.