Why I Am Better Off Being A Single Woman, 81% Of Indian Women Believe So Too

I am 28 years old, single (the precise word our society would use is ‘unmarried’) and happy. I live with my parents and sibling, and my life is at ease. Don’t get me wrong. I am not against the idea of marriage but if things were left to me, I would want to stay unmarried or rather wait for as long as it takes to find Mr Right.

The best thing about this is I am not the only woman who thinks similarly. According to a study conducted by Bumble, a dating application, about 81% Indian women prefer being single and living alone.

It Is Not Just Women, And It Is Not Just Me

I was afraid of being perceived as a man-hater, which I am not. But I am happy to think that irrespective of gender, about 33% of unmarried Indians feel compelled to be in a long-term relationship, just for the sake of it.

39% of the daters agreed that their intention to get married is because they constantly feel like they’re under pressure to do so. The same amount of unmarried people also confessed that their families urge them (I would rather use the pester) to meet people around the wedding season.

Single Life Is Great

Now that I have established that I don’t hate men or the idea of marriage, I would like to tell you rather remind you that single life is great. Whether you are living alone or with your parents, you do not have to worry about how you come across if you get up late, have a cold pizza for breakfast or come home late.

I have data to back my claims. If you remember, during the pandemic married women, working or homemakers, were running around the clock. They were cooking more than they used to, taking care of the household, fulfilling demands, completing chores and taking care of kids, while in most cases men were relaxing.

In fact, a petition was filed online asking Prime Minister Narendra Modi to tell men to share the workload at home, to establish equality.

Singles Can Stay Devoted To Their Families

Before I start explaining what I meant by the above statement, I want to establish that I do not mean I will not be devoted to my future husband’s family. But currently, whatever time I get apart from the office and alone time, I spend it with my family.

When women get married, they try to do the same with their in-laws, but do their husbands give the same kind of attention to their families?

When a woman gets married into a family, slowly and gradually that family becomes her own. However, men still get treated as VIP guests by the woman’s families. More so, a woman is expected to take care of her husband’s parents. Are men expected to do the same for the families of their wives?

You Own Your Finances

Until you get married, your finances are your own. You can spend, save, and invest in whatever way you would like. Being single and earning in India has a very different idea of being financially independent.

I once talked to a CEO of a financial company who stressed on the need for women owning their finances without depending on the patriarchs of their families.

Being Single Does Not Mean Being Lonely

In most cases, people believe that being single means loneliness. This is not the case at all. Moreover, a relationship has more layers than just the romantic cover. It has friendship, guidance, mutual understanding, safety, emotional support and respect.

And I feel secure in my company. I cherish being alone, going to restaurants alone, watching movies alone, reading alone, and shopping alone. I am single but I am not lonely. I have friends and family who respect and support me at every step.

• I Would Rather Wait For The Right Person Than Marry The Wrong One
• A few good-intentioned arguments that parents keep in front of their children include,
• ‘You will feel lonely without a partner’
• ‘Who will you share your feelings with?’
• ‘What about a child? Everything has the right time.’
• And society’s favourite - ‘Your biological clock is ticking.’

On one hand, we all believe in the great cosmic power of the universe and have heard our elders say that everything happens at a time, whether it is a job or a wedding. Why then pressure us over finding a partner?

If and when it will be in our charts, it will happen. The pressure of finding a partner often pushes us to meet people who make us want to run farther away from marriage.

For example, in 2022, I met men who judged me for having a relationship in the past but not-so-subtly asked about the status of my ‘virginity’. I have met people whose idea of a ‘wife’ is someone whose office provides her work-from-home so she could stay with him in a small town with his family.

Men have blatantly asked me if I can cook or if I like home-cooked meals. When I asked them if they could cook, it ticked them off. They were essentially man-children who took pride in eating home-cooked food prepared by their mothers. If it never occurred to them to learn a basic life skill and lend a helping hand to their mothers, how can I expect that they would be thinking about helping me after marriage?

I am sure men would have had weird experiences in traditional arranged meeting set-ups, but that doesn’t affect my experiences. Therefore, I would rather wait until 35 or beyond for the right person to marry than marry the wrong man at 30 and have regrets for the rest of my life.

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Being Single Equals Happiness

Here I am taking the liberty to speak on behalf of people of all genders, being single equals happiness. If we like our company, we do not need a partner just for the sake of it.

If in the future, we meet a person who respects us and our choices, sure wedding bells might ring, but until then, it is okay to be single. It is also completely fine if someone does not wish to get married at all. Marital status cannot be compulsion and does not define who you are. It must be a choice and a personal one at that.

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I am 28, single, content and happy. I like my status and love myself.