What is Friendship Marriage? Japan's New Relationship Trend Explained

A new form of marital relationship is gaining traction in Japan, one that requires neither love nor sex. Called "friendship marriage," this unconventional arrangement is appealing to a growing number of young people, including asexual individuals, homosexuals, and heterosexuals disillusioned with traditional marriage norms.

What Is A "Friendship Marriage"?

As defined by Colorus, the agency that specialises in facilitating these unions, a friendship marriage is "a cohabitating relationship based on shared interests and values." It's not about romantic love or marrying your best friend; rather, it's a legal partnership devoid of sexual intimacy.

In these marriages, couples may live together or separately, and if they decide to have children, they might opt for artificial insemination. Both partners are free to pursue romantic relationships outside the marriage, as long as there is mutual agreement.

"Friendship marriage is like finding a roommate with similar interests," one person in such an arrangement for three years told the South Morning China Post. "I'm not suited to be someone's girlfriend, but I can be a good friend. I only wanted someone with similar tastes to do things we both enjoy, to chat and laugh with."

The Rise Of "Friendship Marriages" in Japan

While the concept may seem unromantic, Colorus claims that around 80% of friendship marriage couples live happily together, and many even have children. Potential partners spend hours discussing the details of their cohabitation, from dividing expenses to allocating chore responsibilities, to ensure a smooth partnership.

According to Colorus' data, individuals interested in friendship marriages are typically around 32.5 years old, earn above-average incomes, and 85% hold a bachelor's degree or higher. The trend appeals particularly to asexual individuals seeking companionship without sexual desire, and homosexuals who cannot legally marry in Japan.

Some heterosexual young people also embrace friendship marriages as an alternative to traditional relationships, either to present a "stable and mature" image for career advancement or to please their parents. In Japan, being married offers tax benefits, and it remains difficult for single women to have children – over 70% of friendship marriage partners cite having children as a primary motivation.

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Global Shift In Relationship Norms

While friendship marriages are still relatively niche, they reflect a broader global trend of young people exploring non-traditional relationship arrangements. From two Singaporean women choosing to be life partners without sexual intimacy to young Chinese couples buying homes together as platonic "flat-mates," the boundaries of conventional marriage are being redefined.

As Ma Xiaonian, a Chinese doctor with over 30 years of experience in sex education, stated, "Although a non-sexual marriage might not be for everyone, it is not necessarily unhealthy or abnormal."

With around 1% of Japan's population potential candidates for friendship marriages, according to Colorus' data, this modern take on companionship seems poised to continue gaining popularity as an alternative to traditional marriage norms.

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