Shivanie Kapoor: How Motherhood Helped Her Navigate Journey From A Designer To A Psychologist

Everybody tells you that motherhood changes priorities, however, no one tells you it changes your whole world. The over glorification of hardships of a mother’s life often make us forget that she too is a human being.

People around her always have a piece of advice to offer, but no one would come to lend a helping hand. Here is a story of a mother who did it all alone. While a mother is expected to sacrifice everything, Shivanie Kapoor created opportunities for herself when life kept throwing problems in her way.

HerZindagi’s ‘The Good Mother Project’ is all about sharing stories of such mothers who defied patriarchal norms of society and remained unapologetic about the choices they made.

Kapoor was a fashion designer. She studied at NIIFT, New Delhi. She even worked as a fashion designer for a bit but left the job after getting married and embracing motherhood.

She has two kids, Aishnaa and Veraj. Kapoor’s daughter was diagnosed with vitiligo (Myths And Facts About Vitiligo), a chronic autoimmune disorder that leads the skin to lose pigmentation and patches start to develop, when she was only two years old.

It was tough for Kapoor’s family to absorb it all at that time. “She was growing and vitiligo was spreading like fire in her body,” she reminisced.

The psychologist said that though the disorder is cosmetic, it eventually unfolds as a psychological issue because our society does not treat people with this disorder as they should. “Teasing, bullying and a lot of shaming happen,” Kapoor added. Her relatives and friends, though with good intent, continuously kept suggesting her one thing or the other for Aishnaa.

‘Psychology Was My Calling’

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In 2007, Kapoor’s son was diagnosed with autism. “It was a major setback in my life, and I experienced a lot of anxiety,” she added. She did not know much about the condition and wanted to offer everything best to her child.

In the whole process of understanding autism, how kids with this condition behave and how to help them, she decided to empower herself as well. It was one of the most difficult times in her life, but she turned that challenge into an opportunity when she decided to take psychology as her subject and kept enrolling herself on all the professional courses.

She studied behavioural therapy and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). That’s how she began her journey as a professional psychologist. Kapoor started working with kids, and it made her feel empowered. For more than 14 years, she has conducted several workshops for parents who have kids with special needs. “When I counsel parents, I feel I am empowering them as well as myself,” she added.

Kapoor said when she started studying autism and began counselling sessions, she began to enjoy everything. “I felt it was my calling,” she added. From there she also started counselling children and adolescents.

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Acceptance Is The Key

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First, her daughter’s skin disorder, then her son’s diagnosis with autism, was a lot for Kapoor to take in. Even as a mother who loved her kids beyond everything, she had a lot on her plate to deal with.

She underwent counselling. She talked to experts, took her daughter to counselling sessions and made her family and relatives understand the importance of acceptance and moving ahead in life. She taught Aishnaa to accept life as it was. In her case, Kapoor made her daughter accept vitiligo.

“Acceptance, in my case, has helped me a lot in both cases,” Kapoor said. Only when she accepted their diagnoses, she decided to empower herself and taught her kids to deal with emotions. “That’s how we all came a long way,” she said.

Amid dealing with all this, Kapoor raised her kids all alone. “Work-life balance was a difficult situation for me. My husband also had a mental health issue. Therefore, he could not contribute much to the situation,” Kapoor shared. Initially, he was there for the family and extended financial support until he could.

It was also one of the reasons why Shivanie Kapoor wanted to study psychology and understand issues that many people face. After completing her courses, she started The Motivation, a centre for Comprehensive Psychological Services In Noida which has several experts on board that help diagnose conditions like mild autism, ADHD, dyslexia, delayed milestones, etc. These experts also help people overcome their issues and develop their personality, through different means and ways like therapies, advice and counselling, on behavioural management, development of skills and strategies to manage the thoughts, emotions and behaviours that impact the mental health.

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Shivanie Kapoor is an inspiration for many who are struggling like her. She faced the challenges as they came, and it only made her stronger than before. We can all learn to turn problems into opportunities like her. Stay tuned to HerZindagi for more such inspiring stories.

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