When we walk into Tanya’s spacious Gurgaon apartment, she immediately enters host mode, asking us what we want to eat and drink and if we’re comfortable. Dressed in a beige co-ord set, with her hair blow-dried, she insists on everyone having coffees and cookies before we get started on the shoot. “I love hosting, having people over and doing things for people. I never meet a friend without a gift, I never go to someone’s house empty-handed. I am a giver. Out and out,” she tells me later. “Yet, I think I’ve never been at the receiving end of such love.”
Tanya Mehra, also known on Instagram by @tanzymommy, boasts close to 3 lakh followers. Mother to four-year-old Noor, divorcee, vlogger and a nutritionist, 32-year-old Tanya makes content around meals for children, activities, and hacks for new mothers.
Bubbly and chirpy, her energy is infectious. But thats not how she’s always been. The divorce hit her ha>rd, leaving her shaken and unsure. Finding her footing took time, work, therapy and a lot of unlearning. But rediscovering herself, through the parallel journeys of motherhood and content creation, has been her biggest blessing, she says.
It was during her pregnancy that she had a nagging feeling of not wanting to go back to work. But she was unsure what to quit her corporate career for.
She was poring through books for information on motherhood when a friend suggested trying content creation. Her videos started out raw, honest, unfiltered and without any makeup.
“I would have my burp cloth and stains on my clothes, but whenever I found a bit of time, while Noor slept, I’d try to record a video. I wouldn’t even edit them, if I fumbled, I’d just say sorry and continue,” she laughed. “I promised myself that if I crossed five thousand followers by the end of my maternity leave, I’ll quit my job. I touched 10k.”
The big break?
Her work around diminishing taboos around the motherhood journey. “I was a pacifier baby, and I made a video around that. Next, I made a video about formula feeding. It was then that Neha Dhupia invited me to speak on her platform, ‘Freedom to Feed’. That was a big moment,” Tanya said.
Every challenge she encountered and every solution she found became ideas for content creation. Bathing, putting a child to sleep, flat heads, baby food - she left nothing out. She added, “They started calling me the 'Google of child care’ because there was not even one topic that you know I would leave out.”
92% of her audience is women. “I didn’t ride the virality train, so most people who stuck around are very loyal,” she said.
R: Have you always wanted to be a mother? T: Yes! And I want to become a mother again. I’m so great with kids!
R: Oh wow.
T: But it’s complicated, I don't know how…
R: Why is it complicated? There are so many options.
T: Yeah, there’s adoption or IVF with a sperm donor etc, but people around me are skeptic. They have a negative perception of having two children, from two different men. They say, “You don’t want to be that kind of girl, right?”
The Bollywood Dream Breaks
Tanya, since she was a little girl, had dreamt of the typical Bollywood dream of a big shaadi, and a happily ever after. And for a while, it seemed like the script was playing out perfectly: she married her childhood sweetheart in a beautiful ceremony. But somewhere after the fairy-tale beginning, the story unravelled — and so did the marriage.
The divorce took a severe toll on her.
“I developed alopecia, had a bald patch in the middle of the head, could barely catch any sleep at night, and my jaws would be unmovable in the mornings due to involuntary clenching of teeth. I lost weight and was diagnosed with depression,” she said.
It took months of therapy and work to find herself again.
“Truly, madly, deeply in love, is really not the key to a happy life, you know,” she says, looking up with a tinge of sadness in her eyes. “I was obsessed with my ex. I wouldn’t even be friends with the version of myself I was in that marriage.”
She chokes a bit, when saying, “Last year, I did a mega-delete of Google photos by selecting his face. When the photos went away, I realised how I barely had any photos alone! I rarely even did any activity alone.”
Even though the Bollywood dream plot may have hit a snag, motherhood has truly played out like the perfect sequence for her.
“I owe a lot of it to my page. Financial independence, confidence and a purpose. I think of how if this page wasn’t there in my life, and if I were in similar circumstances, how my life would look so starkly different. I now have the flexibility to spend time with Noor. I think it was all written,” she said.
A big believer in karma and manifestation, Tanya firmly believes, “Had I not gone through everything that I have, I wouldn't have gotten here.
“My biggest obstacle? Living alone.”
Tanya’s surrounded by people, from the looks of it. Multiple househelp for different tasks, her team pushing her to take new brand deals and shoot videos, and a darling daughter demanding attention and time from her. Yet, it’s the loneliness, she says, that she struggles to cope with.
An only child, with a father who frequently travelled for work, she grew up in Jaipur with her mother. “Since childhood, I’ve always strived to find company,” she said. During her college days in Delhi, she mostly stayed by herself in an apartment in Gurgaon. “All I wanted was a permanent companion.”
Her ex-husband travelled for his profession as a cricketer, and even after getting married, she found herself often alone. And now, while building her life as a single mother, she tries her best to have people physically around.
“There are so many days when I come back home and there's no one to look forward to or talk to. Time with my daughter is often mechanical, with classes, dinner, and screen time. Say, five out of seven days, I'm fine. But two out of seven, it's very difficult,” Tanya said. “I’d say not having an adult permanent companion sometimes keeps me from pushing my boundaries. Sometimes you need another human’s energy in the house.
Beyond the aching emotions, Tanya highlights how it can also be a logistical nightmare. Attending events, creator invites, and getaways take mammoth planning, and favours from family and friends, who volunteer to watch Noor.
It also means she is never available to go out at night or evenings, when Noor is home from school.
R: Does that affect dating? T: Oh yes! R: Damn. T: Meeting people is a struggle. I can find time to squeeze in dates from 7 am till late afternoon. Nobody is free to meet then. R: Have you met people, though? T: I’ve tried, but I’ve met really weird boys. One asked me to quit my career on the first day itself, saying he is building an empire, so I won’t need to work. Some only want to meet post 10pm. You know what that is. R: Do you feel like you need a man, though, in like, life? T: You know, the reason I want a second kid is because I want to make my own family and I can't keep on relying on a man to give me that one day. So maybe not?
“I don’t get any child support, but trolls won’t believe that.”
In November 2024, after two trying years, Tanya was in a better place, emotionally and physically. She decided to buy a car and posted about it on her page. For the first time ever, “all hell broke loose” because the reel went viral. Suddenly, she reached a whole new audience. Soon, hate and trolling piled up.
“She’s bought this from alimony money, and is showing off.”
“Women get married nowadays for alimony only.”
All the hate came from men. Men who didn’t follow her. Men who have no idea of her journey. Yet, there was a trail of abuses directed at her.
“For the record, I don’t get any child support. Everything you see here, my house, my daughter’s life, my life, is paid for with my hard-earned money,” she says.
When Noor comes home from school, she rushes and hugs Tanya for over two minutes, refusing to let go. A happy, cheerful kid, she only lets go when she notices other guests in the room. Then, after freshening up, she shows us snippets of what she’s learnt at ballet class or Kathak class, and what she’s named her dolls.
Tanya highlights that she feels bad sometimes for Noor not having a father around while growing up. Especially because she shares a very deep, friendly bond with her own dad.
“I discussed everything with my dad while growing up. From friends to boys to sex to money, everything. I feel sad that Noor would miss that. But I'm trying my best to be both of her parents,” she said.
And in that, Tanya is everything Noor could ever need.
